Football stats:
defensive: 4 tackles, including 2 sacks. one forced fumble. 2 passes deflected. good defense
offensive: 2 of 10 passing for about 15 yards and 2 interceptions. maybe only 1, i don't remember. 4 runs for about 20 yards. 1 catch for about 40 yards with a touchdown. mediocre offense. played line a lot tho. i don't like to play QB when i can't run at-will.
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
On the general practices of well-being amongst personified literary characters serving as an allegory to real life
I recently read about a man named Clive Wearing, a respected pianist and musicologist who contracted a vicious virus which struck him with retrograde and anterograde amnesia. bet you didn't know there was more than one type of amnesia.
Well, retrograde is your soap-opera amnesia, you know, wake up and can't remember any past memories. Anterograde is sort of the opposite, you lose the ability to form new (long term) memories.
Clive Wearing lost his memory and the ability form new memories. Boy does that suck. How much does it suck? The mere act of opening his eyes after blinking seemed to him waking up, coming into existense, for the first time ever. this happens nearly every time he blinks. From his wife Deborah's book...
"It was as if every waking moment was the first waking moment. Clive was under the constant impression that he had just emerged from unconsciousness because he had no evidence in his own mind of ever being awake before. . . . “I haven’t heard anything, seen anything, touched anything, smelled anything,” he would say. “It’s like being dead.”"
He keeps a diary. Here are some entries...
"2:10pm This time properly awake
2:14pm This time finally awake
2:35pm This time completely awake"
He can recognize his own handwriting in these journal entries, but he can't--in any stretch of his mind--understand how he could have written them because as completely as he knows, he has just come into consciousness for the first time ever. More entries...
"At 9:40pm I awoke for the first time, despite my previous claims."
This is then crossed out and followed by...
"I was fully conscious at 10:35 P.M., and awake for the first time in many, many weeks.”
which is in turn crossed out and followed by similar statements.
He has kept this journal for years, and it consists of hundreds of pages of these nearly identical statements.
This astoundingly horrible, terrible story has led me to think a little bit about my own brain. I know that my brain doesn't process information in the same way that the majority of people do because i have ADD (which i'm sure you all know means Attention Deficit Disorder). Our culture has a completely wrong and flippant understanding of this "disorder." You do not have ADD moments, you most likely do not have ADD, and contrary to popular belief it is not something that everyone has a little bit of. I don't even like the name, because so-called ADD is not actually "not being able to pay attention." I prefer to call it "Attention Imbalance Syndrome."
I don't think most people understand all of the processes of paying attention. You can break them down into a couple of parts...
procrastination can simply be laziness, but for an ADD person it can be (not always is, but can be) the difficulty choosing the right stimulus to focus on. One common occurance among ADD'ers is what's called hyperfocus, which is a breakdown in shifting the focus to anotehr stimulus. Etc., etc.
If this were all the differences, it might be one thing, but there's a whole slew of other differences in the way the ADD brain works than the way the majority of people's brains work. There's a lot of things, and I certianly won't go into many of them, or in much detail.
ADD brains file incoming information differently than other brains. The simple way of saying things? Our brains are disorganized. Well, by normal standards. Practical (regular) example--that phone bill that comes in should be filed under "Financial, pay by tuesday." The ADD brain files it with "need to go get a Christmas tree." You may think that sounds dumb and illogical--it certianly doesn't make sense to most people because your brains naturally organize these things. ADD brains don't do this naturally, and that's why on Wednesday when i'm at the store (even though i meant to do it on Monday) to get a christmas tree, I remember the phone bill. Fat good it does me on wednesday at Target to remember to pay the phone bill, so the information gets re-filed, probably next to "Natalie Portman is heck of hot" or somethign like that.
there's a ridiculous amount of other things, but I'm having a lot of trouble getting all the ideas out of my brain down onto the computer (also ADD--an input/output inbalance). If you're interested, talk to me or pick up "You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid, or Crazy?" by Kate Kelly & Peggy Ramundo. It's pretty fascinating, actually.
I learned a lot about myself when I started learning about the way an ADD brain works compared to most people's brains. What shocked me the most was figuring out that all this stuff that my brain does, the way that it works and doesn't work--that isn't the way most people are! All this stuff that I assumed was normal, this stuff that I just figured was normal, wasn't!
it's hard to go through life working as hard as you understand you are able to do things that other people can do without batting an eye. it's really frustrating and debilitating to live a life of "if you would just work a little harder, you'd be able to do this" when you ARE working really hard and still failing. You pretty much start to think that's all you are--a failure.
The trick, of course, is not working HARDER. It's to work smarter. Learning the strengths and weaknesses of your brain, leveraging your strengths and finding the right tools to overcome the weaknesses.
Because what it boils down to is that we can't use this difference in our brain activity as an excuse. I cannot and should not be expected to be held to a different standard than anyone else. I am not inferior, I am not less able, I simply work in a different way.
And that different way has it's own benefits, definately. That willy-nilly organizational system inside my brain can lead to brilliant insights and creativity when two seemingly unrelated thigns get filed together (grilled cheese & ice cream). The too-fast working brain bypassing it's normal filters speeds ahead to a conclusion before everyone else gets there. A case of hyperfocus blocks out distractions to get the rush project done on time. All sorts of stuff like that.
I don't really know what the conclusion I was working towards was when I started this whole post. I know that the brain is beyond fascinating, and cases like Clive Wearer are astounding, tragic, and remind us about how little we actually know about what makes us tick.
Did you know famous anterograde amnesia patient HM could learn new procedural memory (muscle memory) but he couldn't remember how he learned them?
I don't care what you think about hwo far we've come with science or technology or computers or anything, we haven't even come close to creating anything so nearly complex and flexible and capable as the brain.
But mostly, i think that the sad and strange case of Clive Wearing is the sort of thing that needs to inspire a song. Hopefully I'll be able to write one.
Well, retrograde is your soap-opera amnesia, you know, wake up and can't remember any past memories. Anterograde is sort of the opposite, you lose the ability to form new (long term) memories.
Clive Wearing lost his memory and the ability form new memories. Boy does that suck. How much does it suck? The mere act of opening his eyes after blinking seemed to him waking up, coming into existense, for the first time ever. this happens nearly every time he blinks. From his wife Deborah's book...
"It was as if every waking moment was the first waking moment. Clive was under the constant impression that he had just emerged from unconsciousness because he had no evidence in his own mind of ever being awake before. . . . “I haven’t heard anything, seen anything, touched anything, smelled anything,” he would say. “It’s like being dead.”"
He keeps a diary. Here are some entries...
"2:10pm This time properly awake
2:14pm This time finally awake
2:35pm This time completely awake"
He can recognize his own handwriting in these journal entries, but he can't--in any stretch of his mind--understand how he could have written them because as completely as he knows, he has just come into consciousness for the first time ever. More entries...
"At 9:40pm I awoke for the first time, despite my previous claims."
This is then crossed out and followed by...
"I was fully conscious at 10:35 P.M., and awake for the first time in many, many weeks.”
which is in turn crossed out and followed by similar statements.
He has kept this journal for years, and it consists of hundreds of pages of these nearly identical statements.
This astoundingly horrible, terrible story has led me to think a little bit about my own brain. I know that my brain doesn't process information in the same way that the majority of people do because i have ADD (which i'm sure you all know means Attention Deficit Disorder). Our culture has a completely wrong and flippant understanding of this "disorder." You do not have ADD moments, you most likely do not have ADD, and contrary to popular belief it is not something that everyone has a little bit of. I don't even like the name, because so-called ADD is not actually "not being able to pay attention." I prefer to call it "Attention Imbalance Syndrome."
I don't think most people understand all of the processes of paying attention. You can break them down into a couple of parts...
- choosing the right stimulus to focus on,
- sustaining the focus over time,
- dividing the focus between relevant stimuli, and
- shifting the focus to another stimulus
procrastination can simply be laziness, but for an ADD person it can be (not always is, but can be) the difficulty choosing the right stimulus to focus on. One common occurance among ADD'ers is what's called hyperfocus, which is a breakdown in shifting the focus to anotehr stimulus. Etc., etc.
If this were all the differences, it might be one thing, but there's a whole slew of other differences in the way the ADD brain works than the way the majority of people's brains work. There's a lot of things, and I certianly won't go into many of them, or in much detail.
ADD brains file incoming information differently than other brains. The simple way of saying things? Our brains are disorganized. Well, by normal standards. Practical (regular) example--that phone bill that comes in should be filed under "Financial, pay by tuesday." The ADD brain files it with "need to go get a Christmas tree." You may think that sounds dumb and illogical--it certianly doesn't make sense to most people because your brains naturally organize these things. ADD brains don't do this naturally, and that's why on Wednesday when i'm at the store (even though i meant to do it on Monday) to get a christmas tree, I remember the phone bill. Fat good it does me on wednesday at Target to remember to pay the phone bill, so the information gets re-filed, probably next to "Natalie Portman is heck of hot" or somethign like that.
there's a ridiculous amount of other things, but I'm having a lot of trouble getting all the ideas out of my brain down onto the computer (also ADD--an input/output inbalance). If you're interested, talk to me or pick up "You Mean I'm Not Lazy, Stupid, or Crazy?" by Kate Kelly & Peggy Ramundo. It's pretty fascinating, actually.
I learned a lot about myself when I started learning about the way an ADD brain works compared to most people's brains. What shocked me the most was figuring out that all this stuff that my brain does, the way that it works and doesn't work--that isn't the way most people are! All this stuff that I assumed was normal, this stuff that I just figured was normal, wasn't!
it's hard to go through life working as hard as you understand you are able to do things that other people can do without batting an eye. it's really frustrating and debilitating to live a life of "if you would just work a little harder, you'd be able to do this" when you ARE working really hard and still failing. You pretty much start to think that's all you are--a failure.
The trick, of course, is not working HARDER. It's to work smarter. Learning the strengths and weaknesses of your brain, leveraging your strengths and finding the right tools to overcome the weaknesses.
Because what it boils down to is that we can't use this difference in our brain activity as an excuse. I cannot and should not be expected to be held to a different standard than anyone else. I am not inferior, I am not less able, I simply work in a different way.
And that different way has it's own benefits, definately. That willy-nilly organizational system inside my brain can lead to brilliant insights and creativity when two seemingly unrelated thigns get filed together (grilled cheese & ice cream). The too-fast working brain bypassing it's normal filters speeds ahead to a conclusion before everyone else gets there. A case of hyperfocus blocks out distractions to get the rush project done on time. All sorts of stuff like that.
I don't really know what the conclusion I was working towards was when I started this whole post. I know that the brain is beyond fascinating, and cases like Clive Wearer are astounding, tragic, and remind us about how little we actually know about what makes us tick.
Did you know famous anterograde amnesia patient HM could learn new procedural memory (muscle memory) but he couldn't remember how he learned them?
I don't care what you think about hwo far we've come with science or technology or computers or anything, we haven't even come close to creating anything so nearly complex and flexible and capable as the brain.
But mostly, i think that the sad and strange case of Clive Wearing is the sort of thing that needs to inspire a song. Hopefully I'll be able to write one.
Saturday, December 6, 2008
of course...
I know i haven't been on much. i'll see about puttingsomething else up soon, but in the meantime...
my football stats for the day:
First half:
I played QB almost exclusively on offense, throwing 2 touchdowns and 1 interception. Probably 10 of 25 total for about 150 yards. I also ran 3 or 4 times for about 80-90 yards...including one big one (a QB draw...it was beautiful) that scored a touchdown. That run, though, pretty much ended me for the game, as I strained some muscle in my groin and was severely hobbled after that. On the plus side, though, I did outrun Ben (although he was slowed down by blockers, so outrun isn't accurate--more likely I got past Ben). When I get the ball in my hands and someone chasing me, i'm a pretty fast fella. i've got a little afterburner.
On defense, I made probably 2 or 3 tackles, one pass defensed (and--my bad--one flagrant pass interference on Ben Vose), and 1 forced fumble.
The second half, because i'd been hobbled, i played all-time QB (both teams) in a pass-only air-it-out style game, so I don't think the stats necissarily count. but i was probably about 30 out of 50 for probably 500 yards. I threw 7 touchdowns and only 1 interception. but i also had no rush coming at me and a wide open field. a lot of the touchdowns were short passes with good runs (high yards-after-catch).
my football stats for the day:
First half:
I played QB almost exclusively on offense, throwing 2 touchdowns and 1 interception. Probably 10 of 25 total for about 150 yards. I also ran 3 or 4 times for about 80-90 yards...including one big one (a QB draw...it was beautiful) that scored a touchdown. That run, though, pretty much ended me for the game, as I strained some muscle in my groin and was severely hobbled after that. On the plus side, though, I did outrun Ben (although he was slowed down by blockers, so outrun isn't accurate--more likely I got past Ben). When I get the ball in my hands and someone chasing me, i'm a pretty fast fella. i've got a little afterburner.
On defense, I made probably 2 or 3 tackles, one pass defensed (and--my bad--one flagrant pass interference on Ben Vose), and 1 forced fumble.
The second half, because i'd been hobbled, i played all-time QB (both teams) in a pass-only air-it-out style game, so I don't think the stats necissarily count. but i was probably about 30 out of 50 for probably 500 yards. I threw 7 touchdowns and only 1 interception. but i also had no rush coming at me and a wide open field. a lot of the touchdowns were short passes with good runs (high yards-after-catch).
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Before I forget them...
Football stats...
We only did 5 on 5, so it was all wide receiver and cornerback. So glad i'm in shape now, 'cuz all that runnin' up and down the field would have killed me 6 months ago. Wouldn't have lasted 1/4 of the game.
anyways...
I caught 8 catches for about 180-200 yards and 1 touchdown. one dropped pass. One more I probably could have caught, but jackson did get his hands on it.
I had 7 tackles and 2 passes deflected, one of them almost an interception. I also spent the second half covering one of the best receivers, so i got burned a few times. my pass coverage is getting better.
We only did 5 on 5, so it was all wide receiver and cornerback. So glad i'm in shape now, 'cuz all that runnin' up and down the field would have killed me 6 months ago. Wouldn't have lasted 1/4 of the game.
anyways...
I caught 8 catches for about 180-200 yards and 1 touchdown. one dropped pass. One more I probably could have caught, but jackson did get his hands on it.
I had 7 tackles and 2 passes deflected, one of them almost an interception. I also spent the second half covering one of the best receivers, so i got burned a few times. my pass coverage is getting better.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Monday, November 10, 2008
running
Today, i broke my distance running record...twice.
My normal workout these days consists of running, followed by a couple of different weight lifting, followed by a shorter run. Well, as of last week I was running for 10 minutes the first time, and 5 minutes the second time, increasing the speed every few days.
Well, this week i decided to knock the speed back down and up the times to 15 minutes and then 7 1/2 minutes, respectively. So today I went out there and ran for 15 minutes, 1 1/2 miles, the first time. This was my first distance record...my previous best had been a meager 1.3 miles. I've never (ever) in my life been interested in long distance running. Then went back and did a couple of different weights...decline sit-ups with weight, bench, and squat (PS jesse that new technique you told me about works perfectly), and then i went back for my cool-down run of 7 1/2 minutes.
Well, 5 minutes into my run I was feeling good, i musta hit my stride or something, so i says to myself, let's go for 10 minutes. 9 minutes rolls around and I'm still stridin', and so I say 15...and then 20, and then 25, and then 30...and I decided to call it quits at 30...but I still felt ready to go another couple miles. Still feel like I could.
I'm ready. w00t.
My normal workout these days consists of running, followed by a couple of different weight lifting, followed by a shorter run. Well, as of last week I was running for 10 minutes the first time, and 5 minutes the second time, increasing the speed every few days.
Well, this week i decided to knock the speed back down and up the times to 15 minutes and then 7 1/2 minutes, respectively. So today I went out there and ran for 15 minutes, 1 1/2 miles, the first time. This was my first distance record...my previous best had been a meager 1.3 miles. I've never (ever) in my life been interested in long distance running. Then went back and did a couple of different weights...decline sit-ups with weight, bench, and squat (PS jesse that new technique you told me about works perfectly), and then i went back for my cool-down run of 7 1/2 minutes.
Well, 5 minutes into my run I was feeling good, i musta hit my stride or something, so i says to myself, let's go for 10 minutes. 9 minutes rolls around and I'm still stridin', and so I say 15...and then 20, and then 25, and then 30...and I decided to call it quits at 30...but I still felt ready to go another couple miles. Still feel like I could.
I'm ready. w00t.
Friday, October 31, 2008
A more practical, it seems, detailing of my life
So what's up in my life? It's been awhile since i've gone back through it...
well, 'bout two months ago I decided to step away from working with the youth and playing in the band at church. I'd been working in both for a long, long time, and it had pretty much gotten to the point where I would go to the ministries with a big sigh of reluctance and it quite frankly stopped being anything close to fun or anything. It had gotten to the point, musically, that I had stopped playing my guitar for fun or on my own, and I was not cool with that. So i'm taking a break for awhile, and i'm loving the time off. and i'm enjoying simply enjoying my guitar.
Last week I applied for a center manager position in Berkeley, and I interviewed for it earlier this week. As i'd suspected after the interview and talking with the recruiter, they already had a candidate they'd pretty much decided on before the position was officially posted. It's a pretty common practice in our company, so i completely understand. So I didn't get it, but I had an excellent opportunity to practice my interviews, plus I put my name out officially and i'm known. Apparently, I did a pretty good interview, got some good feedback though so next time I'll be even better.
I've been going to the gym pretty regularly, between 3-6 times each depending on my schedule. It's crazy, i'm definately enjoying it. Well, i figure i must be because I don't have any trouble motivating myself to go do it (most days). I start each workout by running for 10 minutes (increasing the speed every few days), then I do a couple of sets of two different weights/exercises (i've got a semi-regular routine of a couple different ones i rotate through), and then I finish everything off by running for another 5 minutes. I'm probably going to change up, down the speed and up the time on my runs, working my speed back up again.
I was pretty excited. I set a goal for myself to do sets of 250 pounds for deadlifts by the end of October. Last monday (monday's my deadlift day) I was doing my sets at 255 pounds. Well, i'm on my final set when the song "Waitin' for Superman" by the Flaming Lips comes on my .mp3 player. Why is that amusing? Well, the chorus to that song simply goes..."Is it getting heavy? I thought it was already as heavy as can be."
Still reading a lot, but you can read about that in other posts.
There's, of course, somethign else going on in my life this month, but it's not really fully developed so I'm keeping the DL on it right now.
I am way excited to be going home to Kansas for thanksgiving. for more than one reason.
I got an xBox 360. Madden 09 is mjuch better than 08, but the real news is that i got Fallout 3. that game is pretty darn incredible so far. Tomb Raider comes out next month, and a bunch of other quality games.
And also in exciting news....75 days left 'till Peru! w00t!
well, 'bout two months ago I decided to step away from working with the youth and playing in the band at church. I'd been working in both for a long, long time, and it had pretty much gotten to the point where I would go to the ministries with a big sigh of reluctance and it quite frankly stopped being anything close to fun or anything. It had gotten to the point, musically, that I had stopped playing my guitar for fun or on my own, and I was not cool with that. So i'm taking a break for awhile, and i'm loving the time off. and i'm enjoying simply enjoying my guitar.
Last week I applied for a center manager position in Berkeley, and I interviewed for it earlier this week. As i'd suspected after the interview and talking with the recruiter, they already had a candidate they'd pretty much decided on before the position was officially posted. It's a pretty common practice in our company, so i completely understand. So I didn't get it, but I had an excellent opportunity to practice my interviews, plus I put my name out officially and i'm known. Apparently, I did a pretty good interview, got some good feedback though so next time I'll be even better.
I've been going to the gym pretty regularly, between 3-6 times each depending on my schedule. It's crazy, i'm definately enjoying it. Well, i figure i must be because I don't have any trouble motivating myself to go do it (most days). I start each workout by running for 10 minutes (increasing the speed every few days), then I do a couple of sets of two different weights/exercises (i've got a semi-regular routine of a couple different ones i rotate through), and then I finish everything off by running for another 5 minutes. I'm probably going to change up, down the speed and up the time on my runs, working my speed back up again.
I was pretty excited. I set a goal for myself to do sets of 250 pounds for deadlifts by the end of October. Last monday (monday's my deadlift day) I was doing my sets at 255 pounds. Well, i'm on my final set when the song "Waitin' for Superman" by the Flaming Lips comes on my .mp3 player. Why is that amusing? Well, the chorus to that song simply goes..."Is it getting heavy? I thought it was already as heavy as can be."
Still reading a lot, but you can read about that in other posts.
There's, of course, somethign else going on in my life this month, but it's not really fully developed so I'm keeping the DL on it right now.
I am way excited to be going home to Kansas for thanksgiving. for more than one reason.
I got an xBox 360. Madden 09 is mjuch better than 08, but the real news is that i got Fallout 3. that game is pretty darn incredible so far. Tomb Raider comes out next month, and a bunch of other quality games.
And also in exciting news....75 days left 'till Peru! w00t!
Thursday, October 30, 2008
It's a hell of a thing, killing a man. Take away all he's got and all he's ever gonna have.
funny to think when you realize that you might be the bad guy, when you consider that you might be apart of the sort of thing you always swore you'd never do. funny how life works out that way.
Sunday, October 26, 2008
NaNoWriMo
If i do, in fact, participate in National Novel Writing Month, it will be in large part inspired by the following quote from their website...
"Art for art's sake does wonderful things to you. It makes you laugh. It makes you cry. It makes you want to take naps and go places wearing funny pants. Doing something just for the hell of it is a wonderful antidote to all the chores and "must-dos" of daily life. Writing a novel in a month is both exhilarating and stupid, and we would all do well to invite a little more spontaneous stupidity into our lives."
I have in mind the novel I would try to write, well, at least I know where it starts and I know where it ends. The details in between are still a little fuzzy. I guess that'st he fun part, eh?
*shrug* we'll see. i'm pretty known for having big ideas and plans and generally not doing much of anything about it.
"Art for art's sake does wonderful things to you. It makes you laugh. It makes you cry. It makes you want to take naps and go places wearing funny pants. Doing something just for the hell of it is a wonderful antidote to all the chores and "must-dos" of daily life. Writing a novel in a month is both exhilarating and stupid, and we would all do well to invite a little more spontaneous stupidity into our lives."
I have in mind the novel I would try to write, well, at least I know where it starts and I know where it ends. The details in between are still a little fuzzy. I guess that'st he fun part, eh?
*shrug* we'll see. i'm pretty known for having big ideas and plans and generally not doing much of anything about it.
Saturday, October 25, 2008
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Cholera
I just finished Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel Garcia-Marquez, and for the second time in as many books, he waited until the very final page to reveal the exact meaning of his title. Sure, cholera makes a few appearances elsewhere in the book, but it hardly at all makes sense until the final pages. very nice tho. That man is an impressive writer, I can definately see why he won the Nobel Prize, and I definately agree that he's qualified. I don't know if I can quite explain it, though, how to describe why he's so great. he's just a phenomenal storyteller, puts together such vibrant characters--even when they're sort of cliche--with such simple and accurate and beautiful writing that just sort of pulls you through the story. He writes very much in the style of Steven King (or vice versa, if you will) where the characters drive the story, with plot and events being driven by them rather than forcing a character into a specific set of events.
Suffice to say, impressive author. read Love in the Time of Cholera, of if you're in the mood for something a little more fantastic and less romantic, read 100 Years of Solitude, labeled as the first book since Genesis that should be required reading of the entire human race. not sure i disagree.
Suffice to say, impressive author. read Love in the Time of Cholera, of if you're in the mood for something a little more fantastic and less romantic, read 100 Years of Solitude, labeled as the first book since Genesis that should be required reading of the entire human race. not sure i disagree.
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Here it is again...football stats...
We had a huge turnout yesterday for football, probably better than 30 people at the peak. Lots of new people, lots of fun. I had a pretty good game.
On offense, I played exclusively QB and offensive line, and had:
probably 5 of 12 passing for probably 85 yards with a touchdown. I had probably 3 rushes for about 15 yards. Unfortunately, I was sacked twice.
Defense, I played around. Little bit of linebacker, little bit of nickleback, and a fair spot of d-line. I had probably 6 tackles, including 1 for a big loss. I also had 2 sacks and probably 6-8 QB hurries.
Good times.
On offense, I played exclusively QB and offensive line, and had:
probably 5 of 12 passing for probably 85 yards with a touchdown. I had probably 3 rushes for about 15 yards. Unfortunately, I was sacked twice.
Defense, I played around. Little bit of linebacker, little bit of nickleback, and a fair spot of d-line. I had probably 6 tackles, including 1 for a big loss. I also had 2 sacks and probably 6-8 QB hurries.
Good times.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
A lack of unsense here...hopefully...
I've been blessed with several good albums recently. It's sort of an issue...how do you choose which one to listen to?
the new Anberlin album is very spiffy. It's not quite as grandeur in it's last moments as Cities, but it's definately epic enough for me. It's a bit more poppy, en general, than Cities, sort of like it mixes the epic soaring emo anthems of Cities with the solid pop grooves of Blueprints for a Black Market. Definitely got some great christian undertones to it.
I picked up the Jason Mraz album, mostly to impress girls, if you must be honest, but also because "I'm Yours" is a phenomenal song and worth buying the whole album for by itself. Haven't gotten into the rest of it yet, but it might come. Do love the artwork.
I randomly ran across the Fratellis on "Live at Abbey Road" and thought they were good fun, so I'd picked up "Costello Music" (because of the pinup girls on the cover, maybe?) and absolutely enjoyed the hell out of that album (especially "Whistling for the Choir"). Just a good ol' fashion, run British rock'n'roll band. don't have enough of them. So i picked up their latest, "Here We Stand," and so far it's pretty spiffy. They lost a little bit of the Brit Bar Band feel, and moved over towards a bit more of the classic British Invasion pop rock album, but they do it well. They are fun, and would be a great show to see in a pub somewhere. do we even have pubs out here?
My most exciting pickup so far is the Subways "All or Nothing." Another band I discovered on Live at Abbey Road, I knew I had to have their disc when I heard that Butch Vig produced it. they are the most in-tune 3-piece band i've come across for awhile--they're so comfortable playing with each other that they are completely free to explore their instruments and have a lot of fun doing it. Good ol' punk album, not in the Green Day or anything like that, but more like the Donnas or the Ramones. For some reason, they remind me a lot of Abandoned Pools, but i think they're a little bit more grounded. And let me say...chic bass players like Charlotte Cooper...good golly that girl is hot.
Anyways, i've finally started to play the guitar again. It's been too long. I knew something was off when I just looked at my guitar and would have been just as happy with it in the case in the closet as playing it. It's nice to be annoyed when I have to leave for work 'cuz I'm still itching to finger some chords and play some tunes. Now if i can just get this "I haven't written a song in way too long" monkey off of my back, i'll be happy. I have some ideas. i hope they come together. that's the tricky part.
Just 'cuz I feel like it...
Nate's Top Ten Albums of All Time (in no particular order)(where everything could change tomorrow)
Garbage "Version 2.0"
Starflyer 59 "Everyone Makes Mistakes"
Damien Rice "O"
Jars of Clay "Jars of Clay"
Bright Eyes "I'm Wide Awake it's Morning"
Depeche Mode "Songs of Faith and Devotion"
Deftones "White Pony"
Moby "Play"
Erasure "Erasure"
Poe "Haunted"
I think listening to those albums would tell you a lot about me. but what do i know?
Funny how several of my all-time fav bands (The White Stripes, The Violet Burning) don't make that list.
the new Anberlin album is very spiffy. It's not quite as grandeur in it's last moments as Cities, but it's definately epic enough for me. It's a bit more poppy, en general, than Cities, sort of like it mixes the epic soaring emo anthems of Cities with the solid pop grooves of Blueprints for a Black Market. Definitely got some great christian undertones to it.
I picked up the Jason Mraz album, mostly to impress girls, if you must be honest, but also because "I'm Yours" is a phenomenal song and worth buying the whole album for by itself. Haven't gotten into the rest of it yet, but it might come. Do love the artwork.
I randomly ran across the Fratellis on "Live at Abbey Road" and thought they were good fun, so I'd picked up "Costello Music" (because of the pinup girls on the cover, maybe?) and absolutely enjoyed the hell out of that album (especially "Whistling for the Choir"). Just a good ol' fashion, run British rock'n'roll band. don't have enough of them. So i picked up their latest, "Here We Stand," and so far it's pretty spiffy. They lost a little bit of the Brit Bar Band feel, and moved over towards a bit more of the classic British Invasion pop rock album, but they do it well. They are fun, and would be a great show to see in a pub somewhere. do we even have pubs out here?
My most exciting pickup so far is the Subways "All or Nothing." Another band I discovered on Live at Abbey Road, I knew I had to have their disc when I heard that Butch Vig produced it. they are the most in-tune 3-piece band i've come across for awhile--they're so comfortable playing with each other that they are completely free to explore their instruments and have a lot of fun doing it. Good ol' punk album, not in the Green Day or anything like that, but more like the Donnas or the Ramones. For some reason, they remind me a lot of Abandoned Pools, but i think they're a little bit more grounded. And let me say...chic bass players like Charlotte Cooper...good golly that girl is hot.
Anyways, i've finally started to play the guitar again. It's been too long. I knew something was off when I just looked at my guitar and would have been just as happy with it in the case in the closet as playing it. It's nice to be annoyed when I have to leave for work 'cuz I'm still itching to finger some chords and play some tunes. Now if i can just get this "I haven't written a song in way too long" monkey off of my back, i'll be happy. I have some ideas. i hope they come together. that's the tricky part.
Just 'cuz I feel like it...
Nate's Top Ten Albums of All Time (in no particular order)(where everything could change tomorrow)
Garbage "Version 2.0"
Starflyer 59 "Everyone Makes Mistakes"
Damien Rice "O"
Jars of Clay "Jars of Clay"
Bright Eyes "I'm Wide Awake it's Morning"
Depeche Mode "Songs of Faith and Devotion"
Deftones "White Pony"
Moby "Play"
Erasure "Erasure"
Poe "Haunted"
I think listening to those albums would tell you a lot about me. but what do i know?
Funny how several of my all-time fav bands (The White Stripes, The Violet Burning) don't make that list.
Friday, October 10, 2008
Thursday, October 9, 2008
We sing, we dance, we steal things
Well, now i'm done. I've done it and you know I felt it. Subtlety, eh? Tried to be chill, but I'm heavy-handed, too hot and I melted. Walked a delicate balance, but I fell right through the cracks...now I've got to try to get back. But while I try to be cool, it will take nothing short of God, divine intervention, to stop me from giving my best. I'll either pull it off and win some or learn some.
So hard to wait, sometimes you can't, and if you hesitate? No more, I'm...
You'll have to step back and think like me, open up your plans and damn you're free. You've just got to keep looking down, down into your heart. What will you find? Love listening to the music when people dance and sing, just like family, one big family that sometimes forget's it's God-given rights to be loved.
So i'm tired of waiting. No more. It doesn't have to be complicated, we don't really have time for that anyways. Is it fate? Who am I to say? I've spent way too much time checkin my reflection in the mirror, watching the words roll off of my tongue, bending over backwards to get a better look. If your breath is fogging up the glass, just draw another face and laugh.
I guess what i'm trying to say is there's just no better rhyme or reason to give up and go with the season--thats what I aim to do. Who we are, our name, is our only virtue.
Hesitate? No more. It can't wait any longer. Me? Your's is the choice to see like me, free plans and find the sky is your own, the only limit. It's not as complicated as we think, which is good because we never have enough time. That's destiny. I & mine. Yours.
Could've been a night like any other...
It could've been a scene straight out of a movie. Chances are you've seen it, probably more than once. They say that there are only three stories, told and retold with little variations. I'm not sure who they are or when or why they said such a thing, and that's sort of the problem with undefined pronouns. It's the way english is these days, though, undefined and vague. it's all a matter of context--if you know the details, the stories will fill themselves in. Without context I might as well just be another random blogger rambling through the wastes of the internet.
if it is, in fact, one of the three dominant stories, then we can begin to understand that it is told and retold because it is a true story, one that resonates with all of us on some level. Maybe it's a story we've all lived or seen someone else live, but we know that it is as it is because it is, somewhere, somehow it is telling out in the lives we witness firsthand.
It could be showing on a movie screen right now, but it certainly hasn't played itself out yet. Intermission? Is it just the subplot from a much bigger picture (maybe one who's finale has just passed and now winds down to conclusion), or is it the exposition building to something of it's own climax.
I always said it was the sort of thing i'd not be involved with. I've said such things in the past, never's and no's and not me's, and turned around to watch myself exactly where I thought not to be. Maybe I ought not draw lines, less I find myself pulled across by gravity, one who's laws you cannot contradict short of softening the inevitable blow.
I know this: this week, words flow through my fingers. My guitar sings each day now. Last week these did not happen, nor the week before and even the week before. Things now are different, late things, as if they now realize how they always should have been. I dont know if it is, in fact, how they will be, and I can begin to imagine a million could be's. Happy endings aren't always as they seem, because they very nature of overcoming conflict leaves one part overcome. the question at the heart of it all, the very question which every story sets out to tell, is which part will overcome and which will be overcome.
Close, tactile. Closer, each time. you know, I know. Which part is the make believe? Will it sieve through my hands? Spin one way first, the other way next, come back. Closest, or is it just closer still?
I can see what it could be's. Is simplicity best, or simply the easiest?
if it is, in fact, one of the three dominant stories, then we can begin to understand that it is told and retold because it is a true story, one that resonates with all of us on some level. Maybe it's a story we've all lived or seen someone else live, but we know that it is as it is because it is, somewhere, somehow it is telling out in the lives we witness firsthand.
It could be showing on a movie screen right now, but it certainly hasn't played itself out yet. Intermission? Is it just the subplot from a much bigger picture (maybe one who's finale has just passed and now winds down to conclusion), or is it the exposition building to something of it's own climax.
I always said it was the sort of thing i'd not be involved with. I've said such things in the past, never's and no's and not me's, and turned around to watch myself exactly where I thought not to be. Maybe I ought not draw lines, less I find myself pulled across by gravity, one who's laws you cannot contradict short of softening the inevitable blow.
I know this: this week, words flow through my fingers. My guitar sings each day now. Last week these did not happen, nor the week before and even the week before. Things now are different, late things, as if they now realize how they always should have been. I dont know if it is, in fact, how they will be, and I can begin to imagine a million could be's. Happy endings aren't always as they seem, because they very nature of overcoming conflict leaves one part overcome. the question at the heart of it all, the very question which every story sets out to tell, is which part will overcome and which will be overcome.
Close, tactile. Closer, each time. you know, I know. Which part is the make believe? Will it sieve through my hands? Spin one way first, the other way next, come back. Closest, or is it just closer still?
I can see what it could be's. Is simplicity best, or simply the easiest?
Monday, October 6, 2008
FYI already finished with my pulp fantasy. took me less than a week. I did enjoy it, no doubt. There was the added advantage of a four hours of flying time i spent reading on my trip, but i still spun it off in well better than half the time of the previous--probably closer to a quarter the time. 'Course, now I ramp up into another heavy one..."Love in the Time of Cholera" by Garcia-Marquez. oi. wish me luck.
thinking of trying to do that National Novel Writing month thing in november. we'll see. Not sure i have the fortitude for it.
thinking of trying to do that National Novel Writing month thing in november. we'll see. Not sure i have the fortitude for it.
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Monday, September 29, 2008
Recently finished
I just finished Galatea 2.2 by Richard Powers. I'm not sure what I think of the book, it was definately different. Good writer, odd premise. Half biographical memoir, half fictional story, it placed the author in a fictional story through which during the course of events he was able to reflect on the previous 15 years of his life. It all pulls together, sort of, in the end, that is if you're like me and you like to pull all sorts of crazy meanings out of books that the authors may or may not have intended (although I'm inclined to believe writers hide far more of that stuff in their intentionally than we might think).
It's not the sort of book i'd recommend to everyone, or in fact manyones. You'd have to be the sort of person who likes the sort of novels you'd read in a literary course for english majors in some pretentious private college. If you like those, or you like the sort of novels that you can write papers about, you might like this one.
It was way heavy. Not weight-wise, but it took me quite awhile to trudge through the 326 pages. I'd suspect that it will take me half that time to read the 400+ pages of my next book, Sons of the Oak, a pulp fantasy sequel to a series i've liked on-and-off for the past couple years. After that, I either go to the short story book by Susanna Clarke (who wrote the best fantasy novel of the past many years in Jonathon Strange and Mr. Norrell) or back to the heaviness with more Garcia-Marquez (Love in the Time of Cholera). we'll see. maybe something else will catch my eyes between now and then.
It's not the sort of book i'd recommend to everyone, or in fact manyones. You'd have to be the sort of person who likes the sort of novels you'd read in a literary course for english majors in some pretentious private college. If you like those, or you like the sort of novels that you can write papers about, you might like this one.
It was way heavy. Not weight-wise, but it took me quite awhile to trudge through the 326 pages. I'd suspect that it will take me half that time to read the 400+ pages of my next book, Sons of the Oak, a pulp fantasy sequel to a series i've liked on-and-off for the past couple years. After that, I either go to the short story book by Susanna Clarke (who wrote the best fantasy novel of the past many years in Jonathon Strange and Mr. Norrell) or back to the heaviness with more Garcia-Marquez (Love in the Time of Cholera). we'll see. maybe something else will catch my eyes between now and then.
Warning--insert football post here
Both my boys won today. Can you believe the Chiefs pulled that one out? Me either. and the Bears? good boys. Reminds me of a joke. Chris, you've heard this one before...
Where do you let a bear dance?
Anywhere it wants to. True that.
Where do you let a bear dance?
Anywhere it wants to. True that.
Saturday, September 27, 2008
I'm not in the panther cage, you're in the panther cage.
So I've been reading a lot lately, and by lately i mean this year. I've always loved reading, from before i could read even (my parents say that from a very young age, i loved paging through books in my crib & such). I go through phases in my life where i'll read a lot for awhile, then i won't read barely anything for a long time. Well, i've been on public transportation most of this year (which i don't mind much of the time), which allots me a good hour plus of read time every day.
In the past, one of my stumbling blocks was finding somethign I wanted to read. I have a short attention span, so if I don't find something I love fast, i lose interest and then it just sort of gets put on the side. Well, for whatever reason, I've become motivated to read--in general--and this has helped me trudge through some stuff I might not have in the past. Kinda nifty, 'cuz I've found a lot of quality reads.
I've been reading mostly pretentious literature--nobel prize winners (100 Years of Solitude by Gabrielle Garcia-Marquez), foreign authors (The God of Small Things by Arundhati Roy), modern american classics ("No Country for Old Men" by Cormac McCarthy), and my current book was picked because I was reading a list of the Top 100 First Lines from novels in the past 100 years (Galatea 2.2 by Richard Powers). It's really interesting to me, because I have definately noticed why these books are considered "good literature." There's just something about their writing styles--not necissarily their plots or characters or anything, but they just write better. I'm not sure I can describe exactly why yet--i'm working on it--but it's pretty clear.
I've also read my share of pop culture literature, and even a little bit of pulp(I Love You Beth Cooper by Larry Doyle, etc.), and while they certianly don't share the intellectual satisfaction, they've been a whole lot of fun to read. I think I like them just as much. They're a lot faster reads, that's for sure.
Anyways, you can take a look on my page and see all the books i've read this year. i'm pretty excited. I've still got a few more months left to rack up my year-long list. Suggestions, always welcome. Won't promise i'll read it, but i'll listen.
In the past, one of my stumbling blocks was finding somethign I wanted to read. I have a short attention span, so if I don't find something I love fast, i lose interest and then it just sort of gets put on the side. Well, for whatever reason, I've become motivated to read--in general--and this has helped me trudge through some stuff I might not have in the past. Kinda nifty, 'cuz I've found a lot of quality reads.
I've been reading mostly pretentious literature--nobel prize winners (100 Years of Solitude by Gabrielle Garcia-Marquez), foreign authors (The God of Small Things by Arundhati Roy), modern american classics ("No Country for Old Men" by Cormac McCarthy), and my current book was picked because I was reading a list of the Top 100 First Lines from novels in the past 100 years (Galatea 2.2 by Richard Powers). It's really interesting to me, because I have definately noticed why these books are considered "good literature." There's just something about their writing styles--not necissarily their plots or characters or anything, but they just write better. I'm not sure I can describe exactly why yet--i'm working on it--but it's pretty clear.
I've also read my share of pop culture literature, and even a little bit of pulp(I Love You Beth Cooper by Larry Doyle, etc.), and while they certianly don't share the intellectual satisfaction, they've been a whole lot of fun to read. I think I like them just as much. They're a lot faster reads, that's for sure.
Anyways, you can take a look on my page and see all the books i've read this year. i'm pretty excited. I've still got a few more months left to rack up my year-long list. Suggestions, always welcome. Won't promise i'll read it, but i'll listen.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Frankie, this is for you (no football, I promise)
True: conformable to an essential reality, fully realized or fulfilled; being that which is the case rather than what is manifest or assumed
Fact: something that has actual existence; an actual occurrence
So i've been thinking a lot about the disparency between something being true and something being factual. Mostly, i blame Madelaine L'Engle for the line of thought, but the more i think about it the more I've come to the conclusion that something can be true without being factual. In fact as an artist, I think it's not only possible, but it's necessary. How else can fiction be relevant to us as a society beyond anything more than passing amusement if it doesn't contain truth. I find it hard to believe that we would even find fiction amusing if it didn't contain some bit of truth to which we could relate somehow.
Jesus himself was pretty familiar with this idea, consciously or not. One of his primary methods of teaching was through parables and stories, little imaginary vignette's of life he used to illustrate important lessons and truths of God, life, and following Him. In this vein, I find it more and more likely that much of the stories from the Bible aren't literal, factual events, but rather stories and "based on a true story" chosen by God and used to illustrate and important truth about Him.
Take, for example, the book of Job. Science considers that it is probably the first book of the bible that was written. Some theories ascribe it's authorship to Moses (just like Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, & Deuteronomy), but nobody's really sure. It's a difficult story to place chronologically in the Old Testament, and it's even placed in the category of "poetry" books. Not that I disagree...
But my point is that I personally find it highly unlikely that this story actually happened. This was a story, a philosophical exposition, a poem that some inspired and dedicated follower of God used to address some pretty big questions of life in general as well as reveal some characteristics of God (among many other things). Could it have happened? certianly, it could have, but does the fact of it's happening or not happening change at all the truths that are contained within?
As an artist--a songwriter and writer of other things in theory--this becomes quite important to us, this ability to be true without being factual. I once heard a sermon about art & christianity, and the speaker explained that the responsibilities of christian artists (and if you're Madelaine L'Engle, you believe that all art--all true art--is christian regardless of the beliefs of the artist) are two-fold: to tell the people stories (or truths) about God, and to tell God stories (or truths) about the people. now, getting into the details of THAT is a whole nother blog or book or pages upon pages, but the important thought is that if fiction can contain truth, then we must let go of our preconceptions that something must be factual to be true.
We have to embrace that learning and knowledge isn't just memorization and facts. Songs and stories and movies and comic books can all be viable and powerful methods of communicating truth (remember, you always communicate with, never communicate to). Fiction can be as valuable in education as multiplication tables. We are losing the traditions of storytelling and folklore and fables in our culture, and with this loss comes the loss of the truths conveyed there-in.
Or something.
And just to make it one of Frankie's favorite posts...
I like a girl. and her name begins with....a letter....of the alphabet....
On the Playlist for this Post...
The Fratellis Costello Music
Fact: something that has actual existence; an actual occurrence
So i've been thinking a lot about the disparency between something being true and something being factual. Mostly, i blame Madelaine L'Engle for the line of thought, but the more i think about it the more I've come to the conclusion that something can be true without being factual. In fact as an artist, I think it's not only possible, but it's necessary. How else can fiction be relevant to us as a society beyond anything more than passing amusement if it doesn't contain truth. I find it hard to believe that we would even find fiction amusing if it didn't contain some bit of truth to which we could relate somehow.
Jesus himself was pretty familiar with this idea, consciously or not. One of his primary methods of teaching was through parables and stories, little imaginary vignette's of life he used to illustrate important lessons and truths of God, life, and following Him. In this vein, I find it more and more likely that much of the stories from the Bible aren't literal, factual events, but rather stories and "based on a true story" chosen by God and used to illustrate and important truth about Him.
Take, for example, the book of Job. Science considers that it is probably the first book of the bible that was written. Some theories ascribe it's authorship to Moses (just like Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, & Deuteronomy), but nobody's really sure. It's a difficult story to place chronologically in the Old Testament, and it's even placed in the category of "poetry" books. Not that I disagree...
But my point is that I personally find it highly unlikely that this story actually happened. This was a story, a philosophical exposition, a poem that some inspired and dedicated follower of God used to address some pretty big questions of life in general as well as reveal some characteristics of God (among many other things). Could it have happened? certianly, it could have, but does the fact of it's happening or not happening change at all the truths that are contained within?
As an artist--a songwriter and writer of other things in theory--this becomes quite important to us, this ability to be true without being factual. I once heard a sermon about art & christianity, and the speaker explained that the responsibilities of christian artists (and if you're Madelaine L'Engle, you believe that all art--all true art--is christian regardless of the beliefs of the artist) are two-fold: to tell the people stories (or truths) about God, and to tell God stories (or truths) about the people. now, getting into the details of THAT is a whole nother blog or book or pages upon pages, but the important thought is that if fiction can contain truth, then we must let go of our preconceptions that something must be factual to be true.
We have to embrace that learning and knowledge isn't just memorization and facts. Songs and stories and movies and comic books can all be viable and powerful methods of communicating truth (remember, you always communicate with, never communicate to). Fiction can be as valuable in education as multiplication tables. We are losing the traditions of storytelling and folklore and fables in our culture, and with this loss comes the loss of the truths conveyed there-in.
Or something.
And just to make it one of Frankie's favorite posts...
I like a girl. and her name begins with....a letter....of the alphabet....
On the Playlist for this Post...
The Fratellis Costello Music
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Ricky, this is for you
So Ricky Borba shows up for our flag football game this weekend, and for the second time in the last two times he's talked to me, he says to me, "nate i really wish you'd start blogging again." so, ricky, this is for you. I'll come back with a little bit more important stuff to talk about later (or never), but I gotta start with this:
Flag football stats so far!
Today I:
caught 3 passes for estimated 30 yards (including one that was tipped by another player before i snagged it out of the air). i also dropped one other pass that went right through my hands
i threw 3 touchdown passes, 1 interception, and got sacked once. I don't know the exact stats, but I would guess my passing was probably about 12-14 of 26-30 for 130 yards-ish.
had 3-4 "tackles," one pass defensed, and probably about a few blow assignments.
Last week, if I remember...
I threw 1 touchdown and 2 interceptions. I dont' remember getting sacked at all, but i might have had one. The touchdown was probably the best pass i've thrown in my life to Chris F who could be a dangerous target for me this year.
I rushed probably about 6-7 times for probably 40-50 yards.
Defensively, i didn't do much stat-wise (though I directed the defense from the middle linebacker spot). i probably got 3-4 "tackles" and i deflected one pass i should have intercepted.
with 8 more games to go, I should set a goal or something. I'd like to throw a total of 15 touchdowns with 14 or less interceptions. I'd like to run (in games were rushing is allowed) an average of about 25-30 yards per game. I'd like 4-5 interceptions, 3-4 sacks, and an average of 3-4 "tackles" per game.
I should also put together a simple short rule book for our house rules. You know, "if we have 7 on 7, we play like this. if we have 8-on-8, etc."
anyways, that's all for now
Flag football stats so far!
Today I:
caught 3 passes for estimated 30 yards (including one that was tipped by another player before i snagged it out of the air). i also dropped one other pass that went right through my hands
i threw 3 touchdown passes, 1 interception, and got sacked once. I don't know the exact stats, but I would guess my passing was probably about 12-14 of 26-30 for 130 yards-ish.
had 3-4 "tackles," one pass defensed, and probably about a few blow assignments.
Last week, if I remember...
I threw 1 touchdown and 2 interceptions. I dont' remember getting sacked at all, but i might have had one. The touchdown was probably the best pass i've thrown in my life to Chris F who could be a dangerous target for me this year.
I rushed probably about 6-7 times for probably 40-50 yards.
Defensively, i didn't do much stat-wise (though I directed the defense from the middle linebacker spot). i probably got 3-4 "tackles" and i deflected one pass i should have intercepted.
with 8 more games to go, I should set a goal or something. I'd like to throw a total of 15 touchdowns with 14 or less interceptions. I'd like to run (in games were rushing is allowed) an average of about 25-30 yards per game. I'd like 4-5 interceptions, 3-4 sacks, and an average of 3-4 "tackles" per game.
I should also put together a simple short rule book for our house rules. You know, "if we have 7 on 7, we play like this. if we have 8-on-8, etc."
anyways, that's all for now
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)